Games for Mastering Fear by L. Michael Hall and Bob Bodenhamer
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Description
This is a book about how to develop your own emotional intelligence to master your fears. To achieve that, we have made this book about NLP and Neuro-Semantics. In that sense, this is a book about cutting-edge techniques (patterns, processes, “games”) to develop an intelligent, courageous and informed way to handle fearful objects, events, people and ideas.
This book is also about learning the art of accessing the best kind of mind-body states so that your fears can be appropriate, useful and empowering. Then you can use them to enrich your life and eliminate all the ones that just set you off.
What will you learn in this book?
What new ideas will you discover?
What new skills will you develop?
You will learn that emotions are just that: emotions. They are not absolute messages from heaven about what to do. They only tell you the difference between how you have mapped the way things should go and your experience of the way things are going. You will discover that you are more than your emotions. They are a valuable part of you, but you are more than you feel. And, feelings can confuse you.
You will learn about how to control the quality of your brain. After detecting an emotion, check its accuracy and validity, you still need to explore it in terms of its “ecology.
Does it really work for you?
Does it improve your life?
Will it empower you as a person?
If not, you will discover in these pages how to reject, minimize, reduce or even eliminate useless, unproductive and dehumanizing emotions. You will discover how to take control of the internal cinematic films you play in your mind. And there is much more. You will learn the process of using your own mind and emotions to be more resourceful, courageous, focused and consistent with your own values and visions. You will discover the cunning and subtle way that “conversation” (how you talk about things) can make life a hell or a glorious paradise. You discover the structure of how to make life meaningful and how to develop a great relationship with ideas.
How do we know this approach works?
Does this model work? Has it worked in our lives? Does it work in the lives of those with whom we have worked?
The story behind Games for Mastering Fear began fifteen years ago when Dr. Bob and I first learned the NLP model. That’s when we discovered some of the magical techniques in this book for overcoming fear. In fact, it was my discovery that lifelong fears and phobias could be resolved in a few minutes that led me into the field of NLP while I was still in a state of disbelief.
When I was first introduced to the so-called “cure for phobia”, I didn’t believe it. Although I was a cognitive-behavioral psychologist, I didn’t really see how the process would work in the way described. When I first “executed the pattern” with a client, a lovely woman who suffered from a phobia, I told her that I had recently found a new process and that I didn’t know if it would work, but that it was a game. I’d like to try it. She was a game. A few minutes later I asked her to get the phobia back, she couldn’t. At that point I’m sure I was more surprised and shocked than she was!
That continued for the next half dozen times I used the pattern. Each time I was sure it wouldn’t work, this time it didn’t. Each time, however, it worked. Individuals constantly experienced a transformation before my eyes and could not recover from the phobia. Although I was still not convinced, the process also totally captivated me. I had to know, “How does this work?” “What explains this incredible transformation?”
Those were the questions that originally led me to study NLP, read everything on the field and get certified in NLP as a coach. Bob had a similar story. He tells how the field of NLP captivated him in a similar way and led him to learn about the “magic” within the human mind and nervous system that could produce these kinds of results. His fascination even led him to change careers and take a completely different path, while seeking repeated demonstrations that it works and that transformations last.
A few years later, I discovered yet another model of how the human mind and body create their “realities. It happened one day when I was researching resilient people who had the magical ability to recover from any problem or trauma without being traumatized in the first place. I called that model, Meta-States. Bob and I finally began the creation of the field that is now known as Neuro-Semantics (www.neurosemantics.com).
Later, with Bob’s constant encouragement, I reformulated Meta-States (1995/2000) in Frame Games (2000). This refers to how we play the Games of our lives (what we say, feel and do) with ourselves and others and how we do it according to our mental understanding of the Rules of the Game (the Frames). This has led to several application and book trainings, Games Business Experts Play (2001), Games Slim People Play (2001), and now this third in the frames game book series.
We tested the original materials for mastering fear using NLP and NS specifically through Bob’s presentation of these materials at Gastonia College in North Carolina. He presented this material to adults under the title of the course, “Mastering All Your Fears”. I then took it and formatted it into the Frame Games structure. That’s the story in a nutshell.
Who should read this book?
We have written this book for anyone who struggles with fears, phobias, anxieties or other negative emotions that keep them worried, apprehensive, intimidated … fear of life, fear of yourself, fear of your emotions. We have written it so you can continue the story while discovering and experiencing the “magic” yourself. That is our hope. We hope you will reject the old games and enter into new games of vitality, courage and confidence that will make your whole life an exciting adventure.
Do you need to know NLP or Neuro-Semantics to use this book to eliminate fears? No, you don’t. Although that would help immensely, it’s not necessary.
Now to the Games… to reject the Old Games that have undermined your success, happiness and ingenuity, and to the New Games that will make your life more magical and blessed!
In gratitude
Several people have helped to bring this manuscript to its present form. We thank them here for their ideas and improvements. Jim Polizzi, Debi Stevenson and Cheryl Buffa have clarified the work. We are indebted to their passion for this work and their generosity.
Table of Contents
Preface – 5
PART I: Finding out about fear games and their structure
Ch. 1 Fear Management Games – 7
Ch. 2 Presentation of the games of fear – 19
Ch. 3 The games of fear – 39
Ch. 4 The game Fight / Flight – 51
PART II: The model of the picture sets
Ch. 5 What in the world is a picture book? – sixty-five
Ch. 6 frames driving the games – 105
Ch. 7 How to play and master checkerboard games – 91
PART III: Fear Management Resource Games
Ch. 8 The relaxation game – 105
Ch. 9 Leverage Sets – 121
PART IV: Mastering games to transform fear
Ch. 10 games to produce new and better movies – 141
Ch. 11 master games to make scary games redundant – 171
Ch. 12 The nominalization set – 187
Ch. 13 games to master meta-fears – 195
PART V: Advanced language games to master fears
Ch. 14 Language Games to Master Fears – 225
Ch. 15 games to master semantic reaction games – 347
Let the games begin – 263
Bibliography – 267
Glossary – 269
Available trainings – 272
Authors – 274
NLP online course
So what is NLP?
NLP stands for Neuro-Linguistic Programming. Neuro refers to your neurology;
Linguistic refers to language; programming refers to how that neural language functions.
In other words, learning NLP is like learning the language of your own mind!
NLP is the study of excellent communication–both with yourself, and with others.
It was developed by modeling excellent communicators and therapists who got results with their clients.
NLP is a set of tools and techniques, but it is so much more than that.
It is an attitude and a methodology of knowing how to achieve your goals and get results
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